Unwanted Desire-Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Severus was in his rooms looking over some papers and still feeling that surge of anger through him.

Sirius: *was wandering ard the school for not much particular reason. His excuse was to find Harry, bt he was busy at Quidditch, so somehow he ended up wandering into Sev's territory*

Severus threw the paper away and got up. He need air that was he need. He grabbed his wand and went to his door and opened it. Once out the door he closed it behind him and started on his way out of the dungons.

Sirius: *somehow wandered n bumped into Sev, bt he barely flinched as he continued to brush past him*

Severus looked up to see Sirius. "Black. What are you doing here?"

Sirius: Huh? *looked at him listlessly* Oh, uh...I was looking for Har, bt he's busy so...I dunno... *stares into space*

"I suspect he is at quidditch practice."

Sirius: Uh-huh *still staring in space, this time leaning against the wall*

"Black. What is wrong? You have gone a minute with out insulting me."

Sirius: *mumbling more to himself* Ah...Life as I knw it has gone to shambles...

"So has mine." He frowned. "Black you look pale. Why don't you go outside and get some air."

Sirius: *gave tht familiar glare at Sev for a split second before sighing n walked past Sev out of the dungeons*

Severus rolled his eyes and followed him. Since he was going for a walking.

Sirius: *walked silently until he was at the area where they were facing the lake

Severus stood by a tree not saying a thing. Waiting for Sirius to talk.

Sirius: *it felt like forever before he finally spoke* Remy broke up with me, for real

Severus nodded. "I know. He came to talk to be yesterday."

Sirius: *waiting for the punchline bt nvr came* Well? Arent ya gonna gloat or something?

"Do you really think I want to see you in pain? Please you are second on my list. But I don't kick a man when he is down, unlike you."

Sirius: Uh-huh. *grumbles* Tht's coming frm someone who was rolling on the floor laughing wen he saw me falling into a mudhole tht "mysteriously" appeared outta nowhere

"And what did you do before that? I only hurt you when you hurt me. Who was the one who made the first move after that kiss on the train?"

Sirius: *bit his lip before sitting dwn (more like slumping) against a tree n burying his face in his knees* Go away. Everyone has abandoned me. U should while ur at it

"Why Black? And not be able to see you hit rock bottom. It is what I live for." There was a pause. "Is that what you want me to say? Torture you about your lover leaving you?"

Sirius: DON'T!! *suddenly stands up n gripped Sev by the collar n slams him against the tree* DONT u even DARE...!! *glared seethingly at Sev for a long while before finally breaking dwn n burying his face onto one of Sev's shoulder, batting Sev's other shoulder with his other hand, though not reli putting much strength on hitting him as he sobbed*

Severus put his arm around Sirius. how many times had he just wanted to break down? Not even with Lily could he be that vonerable. He let sirius hit him for a while before taking the hand putting it down. "You will heal and you will go on."

Sirius: *spoke btwn sobs* Everyone...has abandoned me...I thought...I thought he loved me...But he left me...just like everyone else...in my life...Why do I evn bother...?

"Because you live to toruture me." He found himself patting Sirius hair. "Not everything is suppose to be perfect."

Sirius: Am I...reli such a demon in ur eyes? *gripped on Sev's robe, his head still on his shoulder* Is tht why...everyone leaves me...?

"I doubt it. You have more friends than anyone I know. Everyone loves to be around you. And...I didn't always seen you as a demon."

Sirius: *looks up at him abruptly, not caring tht he was revealing stream upon stream of tears* They love being ard with me bcoz I'm filthy rich! They were all abt my looks, my money n my family background! Lil, Jamie, n Pete before he went to tht scumbag Voldemort, was the only true friend I ever had!!

"I have Lily and that is. You also have Lupin, whether you like it or not he is still a friend. Lupin does love you and he wants you to be happy so get over him and move on."

Sirius: Easy for a straight man like u to say. U had Cassi n evn wen she's not, u still have Star. I have no one. No one...Not anymore...

"I'm gay, Black. I have never been straight. I married Cassi because I wanted to be part of a family and she wanted a family. But as you can see it did not work. She is now trying to take my daughter away."

Sirius: *blinked in surprise before chuckling bitterly as he lay his head bk on Sev's shoulder again* I guess we're all worse off in a way

"I suppose. But I would not give up my time with my daughter even for the title of Best Potion Master of the world. Would you give up your time with Lupin?"

Sirius: If he wishes to see me or evn patch up with me, I would do it in a heartbeat, bt then there's no point, is there? I gave up so much of it for my work. He must be somewhere out there right now, looking for someone who could do wht I couldnt

"God, Black you are such a whiny kid. Grow a back bone." He pushed Sirius off of him. "Go on with you life."

Sirius: *scoffs* Yes, go on with my life, which is going to be with u, unfortunately. The wedding will soon be in 2 weeks time n if neither of us r gonna comply, we r going to be tried n forced by the order of the court to be married. Some life I'm gonna go on with

"I'll save you the trouble. I have deal to make with you. I will marry you and have your child but I will not have sex with you. We can live in seperate houses and go about our lives. But, you have to agree to adopted my daughter."

Sirius: Couldnt have worded it better myself. Agreed. I'm fine with tht, though I cannot guarantee tht Star is willing to be adopted or Cassi will allow me to adopt. U knw how possessive tht woman can be wen it comes to her. The sex part will be tricky. Not tht I WANT to hv sex with u, bt wht if we dont knock u up on the first try? No doubt Dumbledore will want us to succeed no matter wht it takes

"We will do it like the muggles do it in sperm banks. And Cassi is already trying to take my child. She brought papers for me to sign! She wants me to give up my rights as a father so her fiance can adopt her. She says I would not be fit to raise her since I will be an only parent and a child of her age only need two parents."

Sirius: *raise a brow* Dang. She reli is serious, isnt she? Just because of a pregnancy gone bad which was totally not ur fault. Fine. I will agree to ur terms. Just dont blame me if Star doesnt like me

"Star likes anyone. She is like Harry in that respect. Star has never known hatered. I have tried to teach her better. She will never have a childhood like mine."

Sirius: *snorts* Well, I guess tht's the least of our problems. Just dont go spilling all the holy matrimony shit at me wen u find me bringing a lover home

"You will not talk about such things in front of Star. I don't want her to know what happens behind closed doors. She is an innocent child and I want her to stay that way!" Severus yelled at him. "I could careless who you take to bed with you as long as it is not me."

Sirius: Innocence is for fools, Snivellus. U might be surprised of wht ur own child thinks behind HER own closed doors, bt fine. I'm not abt to discuss such things with brats anyways. Fine, sperm banks, live our own lives, adopt Star. List chked. We got a deal? *held out his hand to shake on it*

Severus took his hand and shook it. "Agreed and after the wedding do not expect me to kiss you EVER again."

Sirius: *made a face* I wouldnt evn dream of it. Hey, I heard the Ministry is gonna choose the outfit for us for the wedding. Good. I'm not one to go shop for something I dont wanna get

"With your fashon sense I wouldn't dream of it." he said, face straight. "Come over this weekend for dinner. Star is staying over and I want her to meet you."

Sirius: *sighs* Vry well. At least it'll gimme a head start of who I'm dealing with.

"Now, Quidditch should be out and I am over due for a walk." Severus turned from Sirius and walked away.

Sirius: *watched him leave n grumbled before walking the other direction towards the Quidditch field*